i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Someone shattered a urinal.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Randomize
