dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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