If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
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Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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