I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
