Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Randomize
