i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
