this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Randomize
