So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
