man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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