We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
