At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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