haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
