you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
