we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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