So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Brb crying the tears of my youth
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
