I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
