Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
