My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
