He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize
