her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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