I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
