i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
