covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
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