we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
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I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
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Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
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