Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
