when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
