left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I'm both gender and math confused
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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