tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
In America we eat man semen.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
