i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
