i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
