he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
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