im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
