What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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