I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
