He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
