just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
