I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
