Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
too bad you live with your parents still
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
