your room smells of hookers.
And success
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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