please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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