Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
