dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
