that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
