he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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