i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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