Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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