Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
