you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
