I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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