we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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