butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
