I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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