you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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