he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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