it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
