i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
