she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Sorry about my life...
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
