used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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