She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
