wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Let's paint friendship bongs
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
