I cockslap morals
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Randomize
