to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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