We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
