No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
You ruined the universe
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