How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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