So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
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FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
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I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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