everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
