I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
